Headache? Get it checked out.

If you have a persistent headache, I recommend you get it checked. One month ago I visited my GP with what another GP had diagnosed as sinusitis. It had persisted longer than I expected. My GP asked me a couple of questions, then asked me to walk a few paces. Finally he asked me to sit down while he called Charing Cross Hospital and requested a CT scan and an ambulance.

Shortly after the CT scan I was given an MRI scan, and here are some of the scan views, showing the fist-sized tumour they found in the right side of my forehead:

If the tumour had remained undetected for another 10 days, the surgeons reckoned I would have died. They didn't wait: after a further scan to include some reference markers, they cut a 36 cm incision over the top of my head, exposed the skull and removed a large panel of bone over my right eye. They removed the tumour and sent it for tests. It turned out to be a benign meningioma - the best news I could have had.

I'm still amazed that I'm alive. My recovery is going exceptionally well, and I'm deeply grateful to the GP who diagnosed me (who would expect to see this kind of symptom only once every 5-10 years) and to the team of experts at Charing Cross who somehow removed the tumour without damaging my brain.

My wife, mother and sisters especially endured a tense time when the prognosis was very much less encouraging. And I'm very grateful to my family and friends who have been great sources of support. I've been very moved by the generosity of friends from far and wide who have got in touch with all sorts of offers of help. It's been a great opportunity to witness the breadth and depth of people's kindness.

I've had a very lucky reprieve. If you have any doubts about a persistent headache, get checked out. If you are unfortunate enough to have a tumour, I hope that you enjoy the same good fortune as me.

A verray parfit gentil knight

My father Freddy Brabyn died on 6th August 2010.  10 years of dementia had robbed him of much, and I believe his death was a liberation.  I miss him, but in the weeks since his death I've seen a great deal to celebrate.

Rediscovery

For much of my adult life, my father was, to varying degrees, dependent.  Dependent no more, he thrives in the memories of the many people who have been in touch to remind me and my sisters of his charm, gentleness, inventiveness and iconoclasm.  In dozens of conversations I've encountered him in his prime: encouraging, challenging and fun.  I've been surprised how many women of all ages miss him especially!  I even find mourning giving way to envy of a man who was reportedly part Angry Young Man, part Austin Powers and part Richard Burton.  But of all the adjectives "gentle" is the most recurrent.

Generosity

Among the many acts of kindness I've witnessed, two stand out especially.  Canon John Wilson came out of retirement to deliver a very personal and thoughtful funeral tribute to a man whose courtesy he compared to Chaucer's Knight from the Prologue to the Canterbury Tales - "He was a verray parfit gentil knight."

I'm very grateful too to Paul Willis and the Ladies A crew of the Padstow Pilot Gig Rowing Club.  I called Paul, chairman of the club and asked him a curious favour.  He instantly agreed, and as a result we were able to scatter my father's ashes at sea from the club's newest gig - the "Brabyn".  This sleek craft is named after Steven Brabyn, my great great uncle who owned a boatyard in Padstow in Cornwall.  My father worked in the boatyard as a young man, played in the sea nearby as a boy and fell in love with the ocean while serving in the Royal Navy.  I cannot think of a more fitting resting place.  Many thanks to the crew, who (with me causing chaos in the bow seat) rowed my father on his final journey and then delivered a very moving silent raised oar salute.

Reunion

I'm not the only Brabyn to have discovered the launch of "Brabyn" - since posting on the Gigrower forum I've been contacted there and via Facebook by several second and third cousins around the world.  I've even been invited to join a gig rowing club!  Although my father is no longer with us in person he has helped bring together the Brabyn diaspora around the world.